Nothing Special, Really

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

A good April Fool's joke has to be planned well in advance. There's plenty of dunces who will fall for something the day of, but what's the enjoyment in that? It's tricking those uber-aware people that really gives you satisfaction.

The last intricate joke I played was a combo joke between my friend Carrie & I. We spun a story of how one late night study session became "something more". The beauty of the story was that we were able to go a number of directions with it to target more than one victim.

Victim No 1 - Rachel (one of my best friends)

Rachel: "Hello?"

Me: "Hey it's me."

R: "What's up?"

M: " I need some help."

R: "Just so you know, I know what today is."

M: "What do you mean?"

R: "I know it's April Fools."

M: "Dammit."

Proceed to tell Rachel the story I had all planned out.

M: "So you think Kristin will go for it?"

R: "Totally."

Victim No 1 - Kristin (One of my other best friends)

Kristin (at work): "This is Kristin."

Me: "Hey it's me."

K: "Hi! What's going on?"

M: "I need to talk to you" (voice sounding somewhat weak & fragile)

K: "What's wrong?"

M: "I was over at Carrie's last night studying for a test, and afterwards I stayed to hang out & have some drinks. We ended up having a bit too much, and, well...we started fooling around."

K: "No way! Did you sleep with her?"

M: "No, it didn't get that far because something happened"

K: "What?"

M: "Well, at one point she was going down on me, and (voice sounding even more weak & fragile) I called her by someone else's name."

K: "Really?"

M: "Yeah."

K: "I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure she'll understand it was an accident."

M: "Well, that's not the worst part."

K: "It's not?"

M: "No. (pause for dramatic effect, maybe even threw in a sniffle) God, I don't even know how to say this."

K: "What is it?"

M: "Well....um....I didn't want to tell you, but it freaked me out so bad, I think I have to."

K: "What happened?"

M: "I called her by your name."

K: "You did?"

M: "Yeah. I'm sorry, it's just so weird, I probably shouldn't have even told you, but I don't know what that means."

K: "It's OK. Things like that happen."

Fuck! Instead of getting weirded out, she plays the concerned friend role.

M: "I just hope it doesn't make it weird between us, you know?"

K: "Well, it is kind of strange, but I understand. Have you tried talking to her yet?"

M: "Yeah, I called her this morning and tried to talk to her about it."

K: "What did she say?"

M: "She said....April Fools?"

K: (pause)

K: (letting it all sink in)

K: "You ASSHOLE!"

Around the same time in the day, Carrie is telling one of our classmates, Casey the same story. When we all met up for Thursday Night Drinking Night, the foundation was layed for our next victim.

Victime No 3 - Casey, the college classmate

(insert random drunken conversation here)

Carrie: "I'll be right back, I gotta go to the restroom."

(insert brief conversation here)

Me: "So, did Carrie happen to tell you anything about something happening recently?"

Casey (KC): "Yeah, she did."

M: "Oh really? What did she tell you?"

KC: "About how you guys hooked up last night?"

M: "Oh. That's wonderful."

KC: "Uh...was I not supposed to know that?"

M: "No, I specifically asked her not to tell anyone."

Carrie comes walking back from the restroom

M: "What the fuck?"

C: "What?"

M: "I asked you not to tell anyone."

C: "Tell anyone what?"

M: "You know exactly what I'm talking about."

C: (looks at Casey) "You told him?"

KC: "I didn't know it was supposed to be a secret."

M: "So what did she tell you...everything?"

I don't remember what her version of the story was, but it was supposed to be something embarrassing about me.

KC: "Yeah"

C: "Fuck, Casey!"

M: "Don't be pissed off at him for telling a secret you couldn't keep yourself! You didn't tell him EVERYTHING everything, did you?"

C: (looking away, silent)

M: "Seriously?"

Allow a minute or so for some awkward silence.

M: "So much for trusting the two of you anymore."

Let another half minute or so go by

M: "You really told him everything?"

C: "I think so."

M: "Even the part about how this is all a big April Fool's joke?"

KC: (pausing a moment to think about it)

KC: (looks at the big grins on our faces)

KC: "You fuckers!"

Sadly, on this April Fools day, I'm left to reminisce about past glories. Pulling off a good prank requires too much effort & preparation anymore, and frankly, even at 29, I'm getting too old for this shit.

I guess I should get back to work.

1 Comments:

  • How awkward would it have been if Kristin goes "oh my god... I never wanted to tell you but I have always liked you a lot more than just friends..."

    Reverse April Foolage woulda been key!!!

    By Blogger Alan aka RecessRampage, At April 1, 2008 at 3:02 PM  

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