Why Can't Robert Horry Have Diabetes?

Not too much to say about the Suns this time. Woulda, coulda, shoulda. Getting all worked up about it at this point resolves nothing. Our next step is to wish as hard as we can that Atlanta doesn't sneak into the Lottery tomorrow. We could certainly use that No. 4 pick.

So today, I want to share something that isn't quite confirmed, but is something I'm pretty certain of.

I have diabetes.

I don't know this for sure. I haven't been to the doctor yet to confirm this - I'm planning on going sometime next week. But I have every reason to believe that I do.

1. It runs in my family. Both my dad and my sister are diabetic, and it also runs in my mom's history as well.

2. I'm overweight. This makes my risk of diabetes that much higher.

3. I'm showing symptions of early stage diabetes. Things like frequent urination and excessive thirst.

Perhaps it's the wrong perspective to have, but I'm not so much bothered by having diabetes as I am bothered by what changes I'll have to make. I'll have to severely limit my carb intake. Things like pizza and beer will have to be cut out almost completely (and I'm sure some doctors would argue the "almost"). Ice cream, definitely gone. I'll have to exercise more, which isn't that big of a deal, since I've been going to the gym more frequently, but I can't fall off that wagon any more. I'll still be able to live a productive life, but I'll have to do the two things that, for 28 years, I haven't yet been able to do - eat healthy and exercise. Otherwise, I risk falling down the path that my dad is going down right now.

My dad has been diabetic for as long as I've been alive. I remember when I was younger, he would check his blood sugar by pricking his finger, and I always used to cringe when he would do that. But other than that, I don't recall him ever managing his diabetes. We never cooked any special meals, and he would always seem to find a way to cure his sweet tooth. And after a point, I'm pretty sure he stopped checking his blood sugar.

Now, my parents are in the process of selling their house up in Concho, AZ, to buy a mobile home back in the Valley. One of the main reasons for this; should my dad pass away before my mom, my mom would not be able to afford the mortgage on the house. Let's neglect for a moment the eerieness of thinking about my parents making plans for their passing away. They are doing this because they think that there is a strong chance that this will happen, and it's primarily because my dad hasn't managed his diabetes well.

My dad turned 63 this year. They are planning this now in case something happens in 10 years. I don't know what I'll be doing when I'm 73 or if I'll even be around, but one thing I know is that I don't want anyone to be making any funeral arrangements because I couldn't get my diabetes under control.

What's interesting is that I have an intense fear of being dead - not dying, but beind dead - but I'm still relatively indifferent to the fact that I probably have a disease that could end up being the cause of my death. I've tried every possible way of motivating myself to eat better and get in shape - to feel better about my self, to win the affection of a girl, to play basketball better. None of those have worked. Now I have a new motivational tool - "If I don't start doing this, I will slowly kill myself". And if that doesn't work...I guess it's "like father, like son."

P.S. - If you're reading this - Jennifer, I owe you a phone call, I'm so sorry, and Jess, I owe you an email. This week, I'll get back to both of you. Promise. Promise. Promise.